Report by: KEVIN WALSH
The evening of Tuesday, October 3rd, marked the annual Fermoy Toastmasters Club Humorous and Table Topics Contest in the riverside Youth Centre. Humour is immensely valuable and not surprisingly nothing comes harder than that of trying to get people to laugh as any comedian will ruefully tell you. However on this occasion the participants with the eager receptive atmosphere and enthusiastic support of the club created a memorably pleasant and enjoyable evening when laughter so often rippled around the room and everyone had a really lovely and delightful time.
We had five contestants competing for the honours and wishing to represent the home side at the next Area level of competition that will also be held in Fermoy on Tuesday evening next, October 17th, at 8.15 pm. Willingness to take part and give it a go is the hallmark of the true and eager Toastmaster. After a brief introduction by our President, Kevin O’Neill, the meeting was managed and led skilfully, lightly and successfully by our very fine Toastmaster and chairman, David Walsh. Tim Fitzgerald supplied the topics for the evening which on this occasion more than any other are essential to get the attendance going, feed the gentle glow of motivation and get everyone in the mood for entertainment and laughter. Issues of what to do if you had too much money or whether Ireland was losing its quaintness among so much else drew a wide range of stimulating and engaging responses that radiated creative energy and genial feeling that soon had everyone thinking briskly and contributing effectively. This set the scene for a truly outstanding Humorous Contest.
Contestants are strictly limited to a seven minute time limit with a thirty second finishing period of grace after which they are no longer in the competition. Nothing is ever said, of course, but the timekeeper maintains a careful record while also operating the salutary system of green, amber and red lights that tell speakers five, six and seven minutes have passed and it is time to get finished. It means you have to really concentrate and cut away everything unnecessary and be absolutely sure of what you have to say in the time allowed. It is a superb discipline that brings out the best in us all.
The order of speakers is chosen by an open draw beforehand. Kevin Walsh went first taking as his theme the use of swear words in everyday speech without actually using any such terms at all – well, almost. It was a fresh take on something seldom aired in Toastmasters with the speaker concluding that while expletives have their place as safety valves when life is more than usually pressurised, but their ultimate meaninglessness serves merely to underline the true significance and beauty of the proper spoken word when used as it should be. John Quirke wryly described an encounter with our national hospital medical services some years ago when a garden mishap propelled him into that world of heroic waiting and endless queueing and baffling routines filling up forms asking all sorts of odd and irrelevant questions not to mention the sometime quirkiness of the medical profession. But eventually he received the necessary care was provided, his case was dealt with and a spell of very welcome rest ensued, proving conclusively that all’s well that ends well.
Michael Sheehan told us of the adventures of a tour guide who had very bravely assumed the task of showing busloads of teenagers around the historic sights and castles that grace our capital city of Dublin and other adjacent counties that once made up The Pale. Not too many dull moments are assured on such field trips and of course the ubiquitous Wise Guy is ever on hand to deflate any guiding ego in danger of becoming overly serious as for instance arriving at 10.30 one morning at the site of the battle of Clontarf in 1014 brought the observation from one chappie who glanced at his watch and announced that it was such a pity that they had missed all the action by just twenty minutes! No wonder they say in Hollywood that it’s fatal to play opposite youngsters and animals.
The final two speeches were both truly delightful gems that carried away the top honours on the night. Frank O’Driscoll with all of his great charm and wit evoked the era of the young fellows trooping into the barber shop which together with going to confession were two great weekend rituals of life in the Sixties. A short back and sides seemed a daunting prospect when confronted with the barber’s array of cutting machines and cutthroat razors and strops. Yet there was an atmosphere to these fine old barber’s shops where men gathered and chatted even as the advent of the Seventies and subsequent decades marked the arrival of the unisex hairdresser and a bewildering array of changes in style and colour as tinting took hold. But still the old tradition of the barber shop lives on even if reinvented in Turkish hands and many of today’s barbers are female. To survive things must always change. It was such a lovely and very warm and heartfelt journey through the changing ways of cutting hair through the years.
And if people will always need haircuts, they will also need to get married. Jerry Hennessy took us on a journey of the imagination into matrimonial celebration, beginning with the arrival of the scrolled invitation, the frantic search for style and fashion; the tumultuous comical events that form part of these celebrations of life and love and the dream of personal happiness. And Jerry took us through a whimsical and fictional exploration of all things nuptial with lightness and grace making for another very enjoyable and accomplished speech, the fruits of real inspiration for which he too will go forward to the next round of competition.
After the pleasures of the tea break, three members took part in the topics contest, leaving the room to be recalled one at a time to hear a challenge from Tim Fitzgerald as to what lessons you had learned in life before you fully understood them. Eilish Ui Bhriain spoke of the strength that comes of facing life’s challenges head on. Michael Sheehan recounted his realisation of many truths on life’s path not least the importance of thinking before you speak. Mary Whelan spoke impressively on how everyone ultimately needs to find out the truth of everything for themselves. For Mary this was her debut in a topics contest in which she gained First Prize underscoring the importance of Toastmasters as an ever ongoing challenge to reach out and do something new on the road of personal growth and development. Eilish will also take part in the next round as Second Placed Speaker.
And so our sparkling evening of comedy concluded as we look forward to our next special event on Tuesday next, October 17th, in the Fermoy Youth Centre at 8.15 pm. It is a showcase of Toastmasters at their entertaining best and we hope you can join us then for a wonderful and witty celebration. For further information, please contact Mary Whelan at 087 7971006 or Kevin Walsh at 058 60100 or log on to our mobile-friendly website toastmastersfermoy.com or find us on Twitter @ FermoyT.